One of the coolest movie scenes ever!

Actually, no comment really is needed for this scene. Anyone who likes the movie Napoleon Dynamite will agree that this scene is climax of the film. The dance just comes out of nowhere and totally surprised everyone.



PS: I caught you a delicious bass.

Obama-Wan Kenobi did it!

Wow! Obama won the election and beat emperor McCain. The dark side of the force is no more. Thank god! I was there to watch some of the results come in at Rockefeller Center where they had transformed the building in a election result billboard. But the whole thing took too long and I decided to go watch the election at a bar. To hear the victorious screams of joy and relieve throughout the streets of New York was really amazing and touching. I hope that Obama will live up to the hype and be able to help th US back to its feet.


Election night at Rockefeller Center

What McDonalds, Cpt. Iglo and Oscar Mayer don't want you to know

Have you ever wondered why Chicken McNuggets only have 4 shapes? Or how come fish sticks are rectangular? Or how Oscar Mayer hot dog sausages are made?
Do all these kinds of food not seem... unnatural? Like freaks of nature? Well they are because they are all genetically engineered monsters. Here is the proof:


Click on pic to enlarge
These pics were secretally taken within a manufacturing facility of corporate America. The insider who took these photos suddenly disappeared without a trace. His whereabouts are unknown and the police is in the dark. But the truth ist out there now. If you look close, you can even see a young Chicken McNugget hatch in the background. Its skin has not reached the crispy golden shine yet and is very vulnerable to external causes. Disturbingly, its siblings are being feed the same sauce that sooner or later will become their tasty supplement and demise.

Pictures taken from Manhattan bridge

I went out to walk across Manhattan bridge yesterday. Why? Because it is a good spor to take pics of Brooklyn bridge and the lower Manhattan area. I stayed there for some hours. Basically just taking the same picture over and over but at different lighting conditions. Here are some results. Hope you like them.

A Bayer in Nu Jorg

Aaah Oktoberfest... How I love thee... Thy frosty beer and crusty Haxn are like a piece of heaven to me...

Thank god for the restaurant Zum Schneider in the east village of NYC. In my all my years that I have lived in the US, I have never found one German restaurant that actually had authentic food. And by that I mean authentic Bavarian food. But that dryspill is over. Now I can eat Obazda, Schweinebraten and Wiener Schnitzel whenever I want. Here are some pics of my last endeavor:

Fly me to the moon...

But sometimes you have to realize that the closest you will get to the moon, is slingshotting around it before you have to head back. Not every astronaut gets to take that one small step.

Lucas, you are going down: Settling the score with Star Wars

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...


...George Lucas was god. He made the best movies ever! And I mean that. Star Wars (or A New Hope as it is often called now), The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi are legendary. Well, people argue that the Ewoks are out of place. I think they are alright. Definitely not as bad as the stuff in the new trilogy.

Why do they rule so much? First off they have great characters. I mean who doesn't want to be Han Solo, or Luke, or Chewy, or even that blue long-nose-beady-eyed monster that plays the funky keyboard in Jabbas palace like an out-of-space Ray Charles.

Second the special FX. Seriously, the movies are timeless. Even today you can still watch them and there will be very few moments where you will say that something looks bad. Actually I will mention some the worst moments right now:
The lightsaber duell between Vader and Obi in Star Wars
The bluescreen fall in Cloud City of Luke after his hand was chopped off in Empire
The Rancor blue screen scene in Return.

But mostly they still to this date look really good. The space battle at the end of Return is just amazing.

Third the mythology. It is the ultimate battle of good vs. bad. Then we have the force which connects all things. A mythical power only accesible to a few to uphold the balance in the galaxies. Yet it can corrupt you if you stray too far from the right path and lead you to the dark side. Just hearing that gives me the shivers.

Star Wars is the beginning and the setup for an epic saga. The Empire Strikes Back is the highlight in the Star Wars universe and improves on the original. We meet Yoda, see jedi training, Han Solo is captured and frozen (who doesn't remember the scene where he tries to shoot Darth Vader in Cloud City), Luke loses his hand and finds out Vader is his father. Furthermore it doesn't tie up in a happy end but leaves you with an uncertain future. Return finally seals the deal proving that there is good even in the darkest of villains and also has the best space battle of all times.

I was so psyched to see the new movies. I saw Meet Joe Black twice because at the end of it the trailer for Episode I was shown. I couldn't wait for those movies to come out. Boy, was I dissapointed. And I really, really tried liking the new ones.

Now let me come to something that many already know but some willingly ignore or fail to see:

Episode I, II and III suck.

Don't get me wrong. They are alright movies, just not good Star Wars movies. And if they are not that, they ultimately suck. Even if III is the best out of the new ones, it still is not as good as any of the old ones. Here are a couple of simple reasons why:

1. Jedi lingo
As soon as the Jedis arrive on screen in Episode I, everything sounds like a phrase out of the "Jedi lingo for Morons" book. Literally everything. While in the old ones, every once in a while some jedi wisdom was sneaked in at the right moment to form that bridge from real to mythological, all of a sudden everything needs to have a deeper meaning and be connected to some jedi insight. It just gets annoying. Sometimes less is more.

2. Funny droids
The same thing can be said of C3PO and R2-D2. They are good characters in the originals and just by being themselves are a funny coupling. Yet again, Lucas thought that by taking that slightly funny essence and turning it into a concentrate that will make you bite your cheeks and twist your eyes, he would improve the characters. But again he didn't. You can just tell how Lucas sat there, writing the script and giggle to himself "I am going to make you into Stan and Laurel. This will be so funny". Lucas is no comedian though. He just tried to hard to make sure that everybody gets that they serve as the comedic relief.

Unfortunately, Lucas had to make every other droid funny too. Except for the Droidikas which are pretty cool. We are talking a battle of epic proportions that involves many planets. The fate of the galaxy depends upon it. It is also a story that tells one mans rise and fall over 6 movies and all you can come up with is "Roger, roger"?! It just doesn't fit. There was absolutely no need for constant comedic relief. As soon as you establish that your all powerfull droid army in this epic battle of huge proportions is made up of idiots, you take away any threatening atmosphere. That sort of is like taking a pineapple and shoving it up your own ass and saying that feels good. Nobody will believe you. Not even George Michael.

3. Jar Jar Binks
Do I really need to explain why he is annoying and sucks? To quote Simon Pegg: "Jar-Jar makes the Ewoks look like fucking Shaft!". Seriously, if you don't see it, all hope ist lost anyway.

4. Killing Darth Maul
Out of all the villains in the prequels Darth Maul was the coolest one. He was dark, had a badass new lightsaber and just felt like a real threat. This is a guy that really could have evolved over the sequels. But what happens? He gets about 10 minutes screen time before he gets killed. Who do we get instead?

5. Count Dooku
An old guy with a beer belly. If Darth Maul is an evil version of Jack Bauer, then Count Dooku is the Pillsburry Doughboy.

6. Character names
George Lucas must think we all are really stupid. That's is the only reason why I would think anyone would give their characters such obvious names like Darth Tyranus, General Grievous and Nute Gunray. Very clever...

7. Medichlorians
This is one of the biggest mistakes in the new movies. And I ask myself: Just why?! There was absolutely no reason to analyze the force because Yoda already explained it in Empire Strikes Back:



"For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship."

And that was it. Everybody was happy and nobody needed another explanation. And bringing in little creatures in your blood by which the force can be measured takes away the mystery. It also doesn't add anything to the story. It is like lifting the foggy atmosphere in a haunted house and exposing the tricks in broad daylight. It really doesn't make the experience better.
Also it doesn't make sense in context to the original Trilogy. Instead of testing and training Luke they could have just taken a blood sample and checked how strong he is with the force. But that brings me to another point in the films:

8. Continuity
From a technological standpoint the prequels seem more advanced than the originals. And it is never explained why. People say that because of the war economics went down and there was no money for great technology. Yeah, that's why they build the most advanced weapon ever: The Death Star! Maybe the rebels' lack of technlogy can be explained that way but the empire should be thriving since they own everything.

Of course you can also say that nowadays people expect more effects but the whole issue could have been dealt with in a way which stays truer to the originals. Not making every command screen look like a holographic touchscreen would have been good for one.

Contuinity within the movies is also off in the prequels. In a space battle in the old movies you wil be able to tell right away which ships belong to the rebels and which belong to the empire. There are always familiar fighters that you already know from the sequel among the new ships. In the new movies, you will find new ships in every spacebattle and none of he old ones. Take the space battle at the beginning of Epidose 3. There is so much stuff going on with new fighters that weren't in any of the sequels that it is tough to figure out who is on what side. But I guess when you have to feed a chin like Lucas', you need all the money you can get from Merchandise.

9. Young Anakin and Boba Fett
Jake Lloyd playing young Anakin was no good. Actually he was horrible. I can't decide who is worse though: Lloyd Anakin or Christensen Anakin. They should battle it out in a big barf-fest. You know who would have been a good young Anakin Skywalker? Haley Joel Osment. The guy that was in the 6th Sense. At least he was a good kid actor.

Another one that really didn't need to be in there was young Boba Fett. Yes, it is nice to see Boba Fett in the film but let him be played by a kid that has some variety in facial expression. Or better yet, leave him out. Many times kids just don't act well. Same can be said for...

10. Hayden Christensen
He couldn't act to save his life. Some of the stuff he said just came out all wrong. This can also be attributed to the bad writing of the dialogues. I couldn't believe some of the lines he said they are just so bad. And not only could he not act, he just never came across as a likable or charismatic character. You might argue that because he will turn into Vader, you don't need to like him. But I think that is the wrong approach. Because he is the protagonist of the whole saga basically, he needs to be set up as someone that you like and feel for. Or at least come across authentic. Someone you can relate to. That way the audience is much more involved with the character and his fall to the dark side becomes more personal. But then again this is a problem with most of the characters in the new films.

And I do admit that Mark Hamill isn't a great actor either, he still did a better job than Christensen though.

11. Charismatic characters
In the old ones there was Han and Chewy, Obi and Luke, Lando and Leia, R2-D2 and C3-PO. Just to name a few. They all in their own way charismatic and likable. In the new films everybody just seems so bland. Or in case of R2-D2 and C3PO was changed for the worse. Obi-Wan sort of is like a cross between Luke and Han and at least is one of the better characters of the new films. I just don't see the man that would grow into the wise and likable Obi Wan played by Alec Guinness.

12. Romance in Episode II
I have nothing against romantic films or scenes. But they need to be done right. Episode 2 showed how not to do it. The growing love between Padma and Anakin and the whole thing on the planet with the fat, wobbly, cow aliens was just painful. Seriously, that was worse than some of the stuff you see on afternoon soap operas. I know that the love between Anakin and Padme needed to be shown but it could have been handled better. Seriously, throwing up on yourself on the subway is less embarassing than the romance in Episode 2.

And no, the romance between Han Solo and Leia is nowhere near the same universe of shittyness.

13. Special Effects
The problem is, that there are just too many of them. I mean basically Lucas filmed the whole thing in front of a bluescreen. And you can just tell, because it is so obvious. You can see it everywhere. It is OK to use special FX but again, less is more. I am sure Lucas would have had no problem getting more money to build sets. After all, the SW prequels were the most anticipated trilogy ever. Sets just look better. Take Dagobah in Empire Strikes Back for example. It feels and looks a lot more realistic.

Same can be said for Yoda. Puppet-Yoda seems more real and doesn't stand out as much as CGI Yoda. I understand that puppet Yoda couldn't have done everything CGI Yoda did, but it would have been better to use CGI Yoda for some situations and puppet Yoda for the rest. Hellboy 2 is one of the movies that perfectly proves that masks beat CGI any day.

14. Anakins fall to the dark side
Seriously, Episode 3 started off good. And it is the best film out of the new ones. But Anakins fall to the dark side can be summed up to this:

Anakin: Palpatine! We know you are a Sith Lord who wants all the power in the universe. Surrender or die!
Palpatine: Betray all your best friends, kill Mace Windu and join me to maybe, maybe save your girlfriend.
Anakin: OK!

I mean, him going over to the dark side is set up nicely but the whole moment where he ultimatley does fall to the dark side happens to quick and feels rushed.

15. Padme dying and Darth Frankensteins awakening
She just loses the will to live... What a lame explanation. Who came up with that stuff? Oh yeah, Lucas did...

And Vader getting out of his restraints and screaming "NOOOO!" with his arms held up was just ridiculous. I actually laughed in the theatre when that happened.

16. Death Star plans
Yeah, the Death Star, the ultimate weapon in the universe that is so advanced it can destroy planets, is constructed by insects that live in earthholes and have gladiator fights. Very believable..... NOT!!!!!

17. The emperor hiding in plain sight
So we have te whole jedi council there, especially with Yoda who is able to notice the slightest changes in someones personality and is one of the greatest jedi of all time but they and he fail to see the conspiracy involving a huge army of Storm Troopers?!

People argue that Palpatine biggest force power is to disguise and mislead. Again, to me that seems like an excuse to justify the story. But that one I will let fly if you will.

18. Music
John Williams Star Wars Theme is probably one of the most memorable scores ever. But in the old ones there are many more "tracks" that are recognizable and famous. The Imperial Attack, the Imperial March or the Cantina Band for example. In the new ones the music isn't bad, but again it is pale in comparison to the old ones. The theme of course sticks out but the rest of the movies lack a score that is memorable.

So there you have the major reasons why the films are not that good and can't measure up to the original trilogy. But still, people defend and come up with excuses for them. Here are two:

They are kids movies just like the old ones were!

Wrong. Anakin gets his legs cut off, decapitates someone and kills children. Not really kids stuff. The old ones weren't kids movies either. In none of them will you find such childish elements as Jar-Jar or "funny droids". A PG-rating doesn't make a film a kids movie. It just makes it a film also appropriate for kids.

Your views are blurred because you saw the films when you were younger and therefore don't have objective insight.

Seriously, if you don't see some of the obvious things described above than you really are fooling yourself and just don't want to see the faults. ;-)

But critics see it the same way. The originals were very well received while the new ones got very mixed reviews because of soe of the reasons I posted. But of course it is all a big conspiracy and professional critics can't distance themselves enough from source material...

So there you have it. The reasons why the new films are bad. Some of these reasons are more important than others. But ultimately if you look at the films and compare them, you should be able to see all of this since I didn't make any of it up. It is there, right in front of you.

It would have been better anyhow to make Episode VII-IX. But my vision of those sequels, I will tell some other time.