The saddest place on earth: Las Vegas

I went to Vegas for the first time in my life last weekend. "Wow! Vegas! Awesome!" That's what I thought. The city you always hear all these crazy stories about. When people go somewhere to go nuts, where do they go? Vegas of course! Or at least, that's what a lot films out there tell us.

Well, I went there and thought it was a sad place. So sad, I felt sorry for the people living there.

Seriously, Vegas is not a good city. The first thing you will see when you get off the airplane at Vegas airport, are slotmachines. As you may know, gambling is legal in Vegas. And pretty much that is all you do.

The airport / The hotel lobby-casino / Slotmachine in bar

Normally when most people go on vacation, they don't really spend time in the hotel because they are out and about exploring the place they are visiting. Well, in Vegas, everything happens in the hotel. So if you are not in YOUR hotel,then you are probably in one of the OTHER hotels. Why? Because that's all there is in Vegas: hotels. The hotel also is a casino with machines bleeping and blurping all day long already starting in the lobby. The hotel also always offers some kind of show like Barry Manilow or Siegfried and Twoface. The hotel also has several restaurants. And most likely, the hotel will also have some kind of nightclub and shopping area. Of course the hotels are quite fancy and some are so luxurious, it will blow your mind. Furthermore some of the restaurants are amazing and offer incredibly good food. But it all is overshadowed by the fakeness of it. Seriously, Disney World feels like the ancient cathedral of Notre Dame compared to Vegas. The city has absolutely no authentic atmosphere since everything happens in the hotels. When you go to an Italian restaurant everything is made to look Italian but it just doesn't feel right. In NYC there a little cozy restaurants in red brick houses, that are naturally run down and have an authentic atmosphere. In Vegas they try to capture that too, within the hotel, but it just doesn't work. I mean, just take a look at the pic of that Italian square. That was inside a shopping mall, with a fake painted sky and the smell of chlorine in the air. "Hallenbad"-atmosphere is what my buddies Roeb and Wollny called it. And there is nothing classy about that. The city has so little style, they have to rebuild other cities with style into it. Like Paris, Venice or even New York. Just look at the pics. It is white trash Disneyland. Everything is so unbearably fake! Even the women are! Since prostitution is somewhat allowed in Vegas, hookers are everywhere. The problem is you won't be able to tell which women are and which aren't prostitutes since they all look alike (fake boobs galore) and you can't really tell whether they just want your money or not.

So what do you do in Vegas? Gamble for one. But in my book, sticking a dollar into a slotmachine isn't really gambling. Blackjack is. Or Poker. But, if you are not into that or low on cash, you really shouldn't try. And even that is without a special flair since it is done in huge halls where you feel like cattle. Shows are another thing. You will find many a famous artists in Vegas: Cher, Elton John and all other kinds. Why are they out in the desert? Because in Vegas, they get paid way more than anywhere else. And why is that? Because there is nothing to do and only a huge amount of money could get someone to come out to live there! Drinking is a good thing to do. Again because that's really is not much else to do. Sports you can forget about. It is so hot there that you will get a heat stroke in no time. My friends and where close to going nuts and going at each other because of the heat after only being outside for about 30-40 minutes.

To me, Vegas is like a one-legged 50 year old prostitute, trying so hard to pass herself off as a prima ballerina from the Russian ballet. Underneath all those bright lights, this city has no style and glamour and seems rotten to the bone. You can really feel how people have pissed their whole live away and the city is full of scum and failed existences. Vegas might have been something at some time but I believe, the words of Ace Rothstein do it justice:

Today it looks like Disneyland. And while the kids play cardboard pirates, Mommy and Daddy drop the house payments and Junior's college money on the poker slots. In the old days, dealers knew your name, what you drank, what you played. Today, it's like checkin' into an airport. And if you order room service, you're lucky if you get it by Thursday. Today, it's all gone.

Still had a lot of fun though because I got to see some friends of mine that I hadn't seen for quite some time:

Cheers to you guys!

I sure am glad to be back in the real city of New York.